Everything Happens for a Reason

I truly believe everything happens for a reason.  Upon deciding the birth plan for our second baby, Spence it was decided a c-section would be the best option as he was measuring in the 9lb range.  My doctor feared I would not be able to deliver him myself.  The delivery date was set for my 39th week of pregnancy.

Scott was honest and decided that two children was the exact number he wanted, although I felt differently.  Together we decided I would have a tubal ligation during my c-section.  Because of my high blood pressure Spencer was delivered one day early.  My OBGYN felt it necessary for both me, and the baby's safety.  I was prepped for surgery and wheeled in the OR.  My OB sat on my bed and asked me to confirm that I wanted a tubal.  I immediately began to cry and nodded yes.  Scott had already given his consent.  The moment made my heart sad as I knew it was such a final decision.  I cried during the entire operation, not from the physical pain but the pain I felt in my heart from knowing the decision I had just made.  I knew it was the correct decision to make for our family but I still could not overcome the finality of it all.

Within a short time Spencer made his appearance and the operation was over.  I recovered at the hospital and went home.  Little did I know that things would change drastically in the upcoming days.  On day ten the unthinkable happened.  I suffered a hemmorrhagic stroke that would leave my left side paralyzed.  I underwent several surgeries and many months of therapy to regain what I had lost.  I was not able to make it to my 6 week follow up with my OBGYN because I was still in inpatient therapy.  I didn't get that follow up until 12 weeks after my son's birth, and one of my first questions was if I could have another baby.

Marriage is about compromise and I compromised and made a decision that ultimately ended up being what was truly in the best interest of my family, and my health.  Even knowing this, that I could not have more children left my heart feeling empty.  After I had questioned my doctor about the possibility of more children, she quickly set me straight and strongly advised, really forbade me to become pregnant again because of the high risks to my health.

I understood but it did not change what my heart wanted.  I feel that God was guiding me in that decision, because He knew the events that would take place in the very near future.  Some may know I had experienced a miscarriage prior to Spencer being born.  My hope and belief is that one day I will see this baby.

I still believe that God is guiding me in my life today.  I don't know what lies ahead, but I trust in Him and in the direction He leads.  I am very thankful and grateful for the two gifts (my boys) that God gave me.  Carson and Spencer are my joy and I love being a mom to boys. 

Speech

Good evening, my name is Cheri Hicks. I may be a professional therapy patient, however I am NOT a professional public speaker, so please bear with me. 

My journey began on February 18th 2014. On that day we grew our family by one when I delivered our second baby. I delivered a 9 pound baby boy we named Spencer. He was delivered at 39 weeks via c-section due to preeclampsia. 

On my last weekly OB check up my blood pressure was up for the first time in either of my two pregnancies. My doctor felt it best to go ahead and deliver him that day and not risk any complications.

I'd like to talk to you about preeclampsia, stroke, my recovery, and how Methodist helped us rebuild our lives.

Most people here have at least heard of preeclampsia during pregnancy, which is having high blood pressure when pregnant. But there is a rare form that can occur after childbirth. Postpartum preeclampsia. And that is simply having high blood pressure after the child is born. 

The key word here is rare. It's only rare until it happens to you, right?

We had left the hospital without any complications and had been home for about 5 days when one Wednesday morning out of the blue, my blood pressure spiked. Scott and I didn't really know what was happening. I had a sudden throbbing headache and my neck became stiff and pain radiated down my spine.

We thought this might be a complication due to spinal anesthesia. We called my OB and she instructed us to come to the hospital, but first to get a CT scan. The CT scan came back unremarkable, however my blood pressure was around 190 over 115.

The hospital immediately started me on IV meds to lower my pressure and they kept me overnight. My pressure normalized and I was allowed to go home. 

The next evening we thought everything was getting back to normal, but the very next morning on Friday, February 28th 2014 - the day that my life truly changed forever - I awoke with similar symptoms, but this time much more sudden and severe.  Scott rushed me back to the delivery hospital since we were just there.

I walked into the hospital on my own and they took me into an exam room to assess me. I laid in the hospital bed with nurses and doctors literally scratching their chins trying to figure out what was wrong with this otherwise healthy 37 year old new mother.

My blood pressure was back up, and it was about 10 minutes into the exam when a nurse asked me to smile. At that moment everybody stopped what they were doing and immediately looked at Scott. He said everyone in the room including himself knew that crooked smile was the result of a stroke.

What we believe ultimately happened was the first episode weakened the blood vessel in my brain, and two days later is when I had an intracranial hemorrhage stroke. My last memory of that day was me walking to the doors of the delivery hospital. 

Over the next couple of days I would be transferred to two more hospitals, and undergo a decompressive craniectomy to relieve the swelling in my head due to the massive bleed. The surgeon removed a large piece of my skull and placed it in my abdomen. This was 10 days post c-section, where it stayed for several months so that my body could keep it vital.

Last summer my bone flap was put back. It's right here (knock Knock Knock) I promise it's right there, and I am now the proud owner of four titanium screws. 

My next memories are of me awakening in the ICU room at St. Dominic's learning how to brush my teeth again. It was very confusing and I had staples all across my head. My family helped me fill in the blanks about what had happened to me, and how I was now paralyzed on the left side. I cried and honestly I didn't believe it at first. 

I was formally introduced to Methodist Rehabilitation Center on March 11th 2014 as an inpatient resident. For the next month my doctor and therapist at St. Dominic's told Scott and I that I was fortunate to go there. 

We didn't know anything about rehabilitation. I was so helpless when I got to Methodist that they had to use a harness to lift me in and out of bed. This was going to be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I had been a stay at home mom for the previous two years and now my full time job was recovery.

Rehab is hard work. The first few weeks I remember cringing when I would see the name KD next to PT. Only because I knew she would challenge me and make me work hard.  I quickly learned that I needed her name on my list and when it wasn't I would accuse her of trying to ditch me, but she assured me that was not the case.

All of the physical, occupational and speech therapists would push me to my limit and Beyond. It was physically, mentally, and emotionally tiring.

Almost a full month after my stroke, while still at Methodist impatient, I was at a follow up appointment with my neurosurgeon and it was there that my left leg moved for the first time. I was so excited to get back to the gym and tell my therapist, and when I told KD she looked at me with her big blue eyes and the biggest smile, and with such eagerness she said, Cheri you're going to walk again. In fact, a few days later I took my first steps. It wasn't pretty at first, and it was very hard, but I did it. 

I started getting stronger and stronger. When I was discharged from inpatient my therapist did tell me that all the leg muscles in my left leg had returned and were working, and there were some small signs of returning in my arm, which I'm still working on.

As we know the arm is slower to come back. I immediately started outpatient therapy and showed up my first day in a wheelchair.  They got me up and walking using an orthotic ankle brace called an AFO. 

Eventually they transitioned me from a chair to a quad cane. I must be honest. I did abandoned my brace and cane a bit earlier than my therapist wanted, but they always said I was an overachiever.

After outpatient therapy, I transitioned to the Methodist Quest program, on August 11th. I successfully completed and passed my driving evaluation but I had a seizure on December 21st just 4 days after the evaluation. I knew it would delay my driving by several months, but honestly I think the big man upstairs knew I just wasn't quite ready to be behind the wheel, and that's okay. I graduated from Quest on March 4t having met all the goals my therapist  set for me.

Around all of this there have been many struggles and a lot of tears. I often have to be reminded of how far I've come, of my accomplishments, and how much more I have to gain.  Scott has been my rock and has assured  me I will not walk this journey alone.  

My family owes so much to so many for the love and compassion shown to us. For instance, my mother moved in to help with me, and my two young kids. A one year old and a 2 year old. If helping raise two boys under 3 isn't love, I don't know what is.

All the staff at Methodist have been nothing but wonderful and amazing. From the first moment we arrived and spoke with the admissions counselor all the way to now. Methodist has been part of our family for over a year.

Honestly, I feel like I bought it with each member of staff. For example, my speech therapist at outpatient HW not only helped me get stronger cognitively, but gave me advice on raising two boys so close in age. This was valuable information.

Methodist is not a building, or a campus tour program.  It's people like you, that help families like ours, put our lives back together when everything is falling apart. You are now, and always will be part of our family.

One thing I've learned throughout all of this, is that your attitude determines your altitude, and never to give up. For example, I was discharged from Methodist in patient on April 11th 2014 in a wheelchair and on April 11th 2015 just a couple of days from now I will participate in the Methodist walk and roll, walking along side the brain injury team.

Thank you for attending tonight, and allowing me to share my story with you.

The Rock and the Kite

Once upon a time in a small town by the name of Oxford lived a rock and a kite.

The rock was stoic, strong, and stable. He had his feet planted firmly on the ground as all good rocks do.  The kite was a dreamer who liked to linger among the clouds allowing the gentle winds to guide her to new and exciting adventures.

One day the rock and the Kite met, and became friends. They found they were a perfect fit. They fell in love and were married on a crisp autumn day.  Their union together gave them the perfect balance in life.

The kite depended and relied on her rock.  He helped her to be grounded when needed, and always to be strong. Likewise, the kite would help her rock.  When the winds kept her high among the clouds she would lift the rock slightly off the ground helping him to dream big.

As time went by a baby rock was added to their family, then a baby kite. 

Shortly after the arrival of baby kite a tragedy occurred that attempted to cut the line between the rock and kite. Neither were going to allow that to happen.

The rock watched as his precious kite was tossed about in the violent stormy winds. He held onto his kite, not willing that she be lost. His love pulling her back to him, securing the line that held them together.  The kite fought against the winds of the storm with all her strength.

They were a team, and they had a little rock and a little kite depending on them.

Together they rode out the dark clouds and strong winds of the storm until the sunshine and blue skies broke through. They are bound together ever so tightly again.  The line between them unbroken and stronger than ever.

*These are our nicknames, and why we call each other rock and kite. How does our story end? We will live happily ever after.

Five Positives

You would think that having a stroke and being paralyzed on one side of your body would be one of the worst things that could ever happen to you. And mostly it is, from my point of view. Except you'll be surprised that I've actually found good things from this tragedy that has happened to me

1. I have discovered things about myself that I never knew. Such as how strong I am. I always thought of myself as a weak person until this happened. Now I know that anything is possible for me.

2. I'm amazed at how many people I've met because of my stroke. I have met people near and far and their stories and journeys have inspired me to do better for myself. These friendships are priceless to me.

3. I've learned to take nothing for granted. Family is the most important thing ever. Scott and I both now know what's really important in life. We were never materialistic before, but we definitely now know that life is not about the things you aquire, but it's about the life that you make for yourself, and the time that you spend with loved ones.

4. The time that I have gotten to spend with my mom because she moved in with me is something that I will always cherish. Had I not had my stroke I probably would have not had this awesome time to spend with her.

5. Lessons I can teach to my boys. Priceless and valuable lessons that I can teach them. Like, never to give up, and to always believe in themselves. I hope that they are better men because of what happened to me.

You may think that I would say 2014 is the worst year of my life, and it really is not. Honestly, 1999 was the worst year of my life. The year my dad died. That life event has impacted my life more than my stroke ever has.

So on that note I wish everyone a Happy New Year and here's to 2015. Let it be healthy and happy for everyone!

Can't See the Forest for the Trees.

Sometimes it's hard for me to see how far I've come.  Luckily I have great friends and family that remind me, but for some reason today was a really bad day.  I really couldn't tell you why.  Maybe it's because I've reached a plateau in my therapy. 

Trash pick-up is in a couple of days.  My mom asked that the garage door be left open until it was all taken out and set by the curb.  For some reason when mom said that, I had a sudden flashback to when I was in the ICU.  Doctors would come in intermittently and ask me random questions such as who is the president, what year it was etc.  On one such day the doctors asked me what day it was.  I answered that it was Friday, trash day.  Scott said the doctor just looked around the room at everyone.  The doctor said knowing the size of the brain bleed I had, it was uncommon for someone to be so fully aware of their surroundings.  I knew exactly what was going on.  I could answer all their questions correctly. 

Even now when I go for my therapy the nurses and doctors will say that my full personality is showing through, and when I smile they feel like they know who I am.  Thing is, there was a personality behind the face the entire time.  It may not have been apparent at the beginning, but it was there. 

So, yes, I am making good strides.  And although others have seen a lot of progress in my recovery, it can at times be difficult for me to see this.  I want my recovery to go faster!  Unfortunately, with a brain injury faster is not how it goes.  Everyone has to wait for different things in life to come to pass.  For some reason I feel like I am supposed to have super-sonic levels of patience.  I know I'll get there, I just want to get there now, but I have to be patient and wait. 

In the meantime I have to remind myself daily how far I have come in my recovery.  The trees get in the way of my view.  I'll just have to climb to the cliff tops to see over those trees to see just how far I have come. 

Five Things I've learned Since Having My Stroke

Patience- I’ve almost grown to hate this word.  I don't want to wait; I want things now.  The reality is that good things come to those who wait.  This journey has tested every fiber of my being.  Time is both a healer and my enemy.  I need it to get better, but I have to endure the long days; some with no progress, others with great strides.

 

 Determination- This is a big one.  I really cannot give up.  If I did, that would mean giving up on Scott and my boys, and that is not an option.  I wake up every day ready to tackle this beast. 

  Love- I've told Scott numerous times that while I may have been on the brink of death as I waited for a bed to open for me at a nearby hospital; I didn't slip away because of him.  I couldn't leave him a widow.  We are both in this for the long haul.  He always assures me that I will not walk this path alone.  He will be by my side holding my hand the entire way.

 

 Inner Strength- This is something I never knew I had.  Actually, we all have it; we just may not realize it until we are put through test.  I'm sure we all have small things we want to tackle; whether that's losing weight, quitting smoking, or having the courage to change jobs.  Look deep within yourself, it's there I promise.  Just remember it's a marathon, not a sprint.  I want to encourage others to take the challenge, and opportunity to take the necessary steps to better your life and become happy and whole.

 
 Gratitude- There are so many things I am grateful for.  Honestly, I'm just grateful to wake up every morning and be alive.  I'm grateful for my friends who have rallied together to support me.  I'm grateful for Scott for everything he does for me, and I'm grateful for my family for helping me in this time of need.  It makes me happy to know that I don't need material things to make me happy.  I'm happy just because.  I read a book once that stated there are three types of people; those who live in the past, those who live in the future, and those who live in present.  I choose to live in the present; it is a gift, after all.

Angels

I want to talk about angels.  Some believe once we pass from this earth we become an angel.  Others believe loved ones who've passed away become their guardian angel, always looking over them.  Most believe in the standard idea that the roles of angels include protecting and guiding human beings, and carrying out God's tasks. 

This is my story of how I had the unique chance meeting of someone I consider one of my angels. 

 

After I came home from my rehab stay my in laws came to visit us towards the end of May.  One Sunday morning my father in law said he would take me and my oldest son, Carson, to the park.  I had not been outside for a few days, and was looking forward to being out in the sunshine. 

 

I put on my required safety helmet, picked up my cane and the three of us headed to the park, ready to enjoy the beautiful day outside.  My two year old ran about joyfully as his grandfather chased after him, to keep an eye on him.  I did my best to keep up, but it was still a struggle to walk.

 

A little boy was watching me, and finally approached me and asked if I had hurt my leg.  Not knowing how to explain the affects of a stroke to young child, I simply said "yes, I hurt my leg and was learning to walk again."  He seemed to accept this answer as he nodded his head in understanding. 

 

During the conversation my son and father in law had gotten pretty far from me.  I was already tired and running out of steam.  I spotted a nearby bench where a couple was sitting, and asked if they minded if I join them.  They happily made room for me on the bench.  The man sitting there said that I looked familiar to him, and asked me if I had recently been in an accident. 

 

He mentioned I looked like someone who he had transported several weeks before.  My immediate thought was to connect transport with an ambulance.  I asked him if he was an EMT and he said yes, he drove an ambulance.  That’s when it clicked for both of us.  He was the driver of the ambulance that took me to St. Dominics Hospital the day of my stroke. 

 

We spent several minutes talking and I told him about my recovery, and how thankful I was to be alive, and be at the park with my son.  Soon it was time to go home, and I thanked him for his part in saving my life. 

 

The opportunity to actually meet someone who participated in my care really got me to thinking about how we communicate with everyday people throughout our lives.  Be it the lady working the check out at the grocery store, the neighbor across the street, the bank teller etc.  We sometimes forget the people around us are just like us.  They each have a story, struggles, hardships, and triumphs. 

 

It's easy to get caught up in the doings of our own little worlds, but I think it's good to stop and reflect how we interact with others.  That day sitting on the park bench, I could have allowed my struggles, my tiredness, and my frustrations of dealing with the effects of my stroke come to the forefront, and been rude to that man who began asking me questions.  We are all guilty of taking out these feelings from time to time on perfect strangers, and we have all been the recipient of someone doing the same thing to us. 

 

That "chance" meeting with my ambulance driver really made think about how small the world really is, and how a simple act of kindness, be it a smile, or helping someone with a simple task can completely change their day, and even if that comes from a stranger it can make people feel cared for, and brighten their day. 

 

There's a scripture that says "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."  Be kind to others, you never know....one day they may be the angel who helps you, guides you, or ministers to you.