Can't See the Forest for the Trees.

Sometimes it's hard for me to see how far I've come.  Luckily I have great friends and family that remind me, but for some reason today was a really bad day.  I really couldn't tell you why.  Maybe it's because I've reached a plateau in my therapy. 

Trash pick-up is in a couple of days.  My mom asked that the garage door be left open until it was all taken out and set by the curb.  For some reason when mom said that, I had a sudden flashback to when I was in the ICU.  Doctors would come in intermittently and ask me random questions such as who is the president, what year it was etc.  On one such day the doctors asked me what day it was.  I answered that it was Friday, trash day.  Scott said the doctor just looked around the room at everyone.  The doctor said knowing the size of the brain bleed I had, it was uncommon for someone to be so fully aware of their surroundings.  I knew exactly what was going on.  I could answer all their questions correctly. 

Even now when I go for my therapy the nurses and doctors will say that my full personality is showing through, and when I smile they feel like they know who I am.  Thing is, there was a personality behind the face the entire time.  It may not have been apparent at the beginning, but it was there. 

So, yes, I am making good strides.  And although others have seen a lot of progress in my recovery, it can at times be difficult for me to see this.  I want my recovery to go faster!  Unfortunately, with a brain injury faster is not how it goes.  Everyone has to wait for different things in life to come to pass.  For some reason I feel like I am supposed to have super-sonic levels of patience.  I know I'll get there, I just want to get there now, but I have to be patient and wait. 

In the meantime I have to remind myself daily how far I have come in my recovery.  The trees get in the way of my view.  I'll just have to climb to the cliff tops to see over those trees to see just how far I have come.